The rain was falling hard, Kate could hear it banging against the airplane wall that Sawyer used to hold up his tent. And it it was actually dripping in a few places too, not that they minded all that much, it had been a hot day after all.

She lay with her back propped up with blankets, reading a magazine, throwing out little tidbits from it every now and then. Sawyer showed passing interest at best with the info, his concentration was primarly focused on removing her clothes, which she neither helped or hindered him with. It was more fun this way, letting him do all the work. She looked down at the latest factoid she was readig with some amusement, figuring he'd be interested in this one.

"Did you know polar bears are the largest land predators in the world?"

"Think i knew that.." he said, slowly pulling her jeans off. He then looked up at her with a raised eyebrow "the one i shot looked pretty damn big if you ask me, not that i got much thanks for savin ya'lls lives or anythin

."

Kate smiled at that and then seemed to remember something "how do you think that bear got here anyways?" she asked, curious as to what he thought about it, it wasn't something that had been discussed much it seemed "I mean it's a tropical island, don't you find that unsual at all?"

"No more unusual than bare-footed island natives, big ass black horses and creepy hatches" he said, tossing her jeans over his shoulder nonchalantly and then walking on hands and knees over to where she was laying "this is the isle of mystery sweetheart.. it hurts my brain to think too much on that stuff, i have enough trouble tryin to figure out why Jacko's hair hasn't grown in the several months we've been here... i mean i've had 2 haircuts since then."

Kate laughed "your right, i never noticed that before"

Sawyer, plucking the magazine from her hands said "damn creepy if you ask me..." He looked at the cover for a sec with a strange look on his face, seeming to study it "National Geographic huh? This is what's got your attention away from me?"

"Have you ever read it? It's very informative.."

"yeah sorta.." he said absently, with that strange look still on his face. In the flickering light cast by the Kerosene lamp he looked haunted, like he'd seen a ghost, and when he spoke again it became clear why. "My dad used to read it.."

Kate lifted her head at the mention of that. Sawyer so very rarely mentioned his parents hat it was surprising when he did. She suddenly understand the look for what it was, painful recollection. It had occured to her to think awhile back about how talking to and exploring eachother was, at least for them, alot like walking through a mnefield, you just never knew when you were gonna hit a live one. Loooks like i jusst found one she thought sadly we're never done with this are we? And the answer was of course not, they never would be. She didn't expect him to elaborate but surprisingly he did.

"He used to sit and read em by the fire, and sometimes i'd sit with him and bug him, like kids do.." He sort of absently flipped through the magazine as he was saying this, he wasn't reading it or anything, it just seemed like he needed something to do "One time he told me about volcanos, tellin me about how they'd build up all this pressure and then would just finally blow their tops... guess he'd know a bit about that huh?" He gave a rueful half smile when he said that, but seemed to seemed to realized he was getting dangerously close to something and pulled back a bit. "I remember i became obsessed with volcanoes for like a week or so, was hopin one would put up in my backyard, it's funny what kids think ain't it?"

Kate listened to all this without interrupting, and found she could picture him as little boy sitting on his back porch hoping for a spweing mountain to appear out of nowhere. She could even picture the scene of him sitting by the fire listening raptly and with love as his father explained the natural world to him, his clear blue eyes reflecting the light from the fire, she could actually feel the warmth of the fire and hear the wood crackling in the hearth. She saw the boy had been, before he had been marked by tragedy and consumed by anger. Kate could picture it so clearly it was almost like she was pulling it right out of his head, and it never occured to her to think that maybe that was exactly what she was doing.

Sawyer continued, still rifling through the magazine absently "My dad finally explained that volcanos don't happen in Tennessee, but if i wanted, someday he'd take me to see a real one." His face took on a bitter look as he finished "..so much for that huh?"

Kate watched him, sitting there next to her, with his knees up and his elbows resting on them, seemingly lost in thoughts he'd rather not have. She could see the visible hurt in his face, and could picture that same child hiding under his bed, a terrified witness to tragedy, but also saw that he was quickly pushing that back, like he always did when it got too close to the surface. It was like watching him mentally close a door, keeping that child forever in the dark of his room, never allowing him to see the light of day. And as painful as that was to see, she understood why, for she had a child like that in her own mind too, she kept hers locked up pretty tight as well. It was all about protection, and they both had become very good at building those particular fortresses.

Sawyer was still llooking at the magazine though, it seemed to hold his interest. Curious she pulled herself to where he was sitting looking at it, and pushing her hair away from her face looked over his shoulder to see what he was he looking at. The pics were of some native dance of some kind, probably in some remote out of the way place. She observed the woman in the pictures were topless. Of course she thought to herself amused typical guy,

"I should've known that's what you were looking for" said to him, trying to hide the amusement in her voice.

"What?" he said with feigned innocence, "i'm readin the article, it's very informative"

"oh yeah, then tell me what it says then?"

"Well gee Freckles.." he replied with his typical mirth "I would but i misplaced my glasses.."

Kate rolled her eyes "your such a pig sometimes"

"Now i'm offended darlin" he said, trying to sound hurt "how'd ya know i'm not learnin somethin here?"

She laughed, partly in wonder at the way he changed gears so quickly and inquired "what are you learning? dare i ask?"

"Absolutly nothin useful puddin" He then held up the magazine and pointed at somethiing "hey maybe we could try this sometime, there's an awful lot of jungle we ain't explored yet if you catch my drift" he said with a wink, looking back at her.

"Well.." she said thoughtfully, looking at the picture carefully "maybe, but i thought we could stay inside for now, cause i'll bet i can be more interesting than that magazine.."

"Oh really?" he said in a low tone "and hows that?"

Kate crawled around to the front of where he was sitting and stood on her knees right betwen his slayed legs. And in one quick move reached down and pulled her shirt over her head.

"Well then.." said Sawyer, with a great deal of interest now "this is definatly more interesting, sorta like a hands on learning experience.." and with that he tossed the magazine over his head and pulled her into his arms. Works every time she thought and smiled, thinking how eay men were sometimes.

"What are you smilin at?" pushing her hair away from her face.

"nothing.." she said and then with an air of impatience asked "well are gonna kiss me or what? cause otherwise i just might put my shirt back on.."

"Darlin there's no way in hell i'm lettin you do that.." And in a deft move spun her around and lowereed her down on the blanket "cause that would be ryin shame.." And thus commenced the festiviites for the night.

And while they were pretty much lost in eachother, neither one was aware it would the last peaceful night for awhile. Things were starting to kick into high gear on the island.. and it would start with the dream...

to be continued soon.

Sawyer found himself in the jungle, and couldn't remember just how in the blue hell he got there. It appeared to be broad daylight too, what the f**k he thought,. confused trying to get his bearings. It was an unfamilar area, there were no landmarks he recognized, hell he couldn't even hear the ocean, couldn't hear much of anything in fact. Which was odd in itself, considering there was always some damn thing chirping away out here, but there was nothing but silence. But was also strange was that even though he could clearly see it was midday, there was dark quality to the light, like a blacknees seeping in, like everything around him was an illusion of some sort. It had a very disorientating effect, almost like an unrelity, but he could feel the ground beneath is bare feet, which told him he had to be really here. Which didn't make any real sense.

And suddenly he did hear a noise, a sharp crack way off in the distance. Sounds like a tree, he thought with a slight edge of fear a big one. The light seemed to get darker like someone was fiddling with a dimmer switch, and the air took on a heavy waiting quality to it. And without any warning whatsover, someone suddenly appeared in front of him, like flipping a light switch. One moment they weren't there the next minute they were. And they were very familar to him.

"Walt.." he said, barely above a whisper. He couldn't think to say anything else.

The boy stood there, just looking at him in a very calm way, which was unnerving him. Never mind the fact that he seemed to be going in and out of focus, like a film projector. It was making him rather queay, and the thickness of the air wasn't helping any. And suddenly, behind the apparition Sawyer heard the sound of another tree falling, closer this time. whatever that is, it's freakin huge he thought, a feeling of terror rising up in him need to leave now his mind ordered, but before he could, it appeared Ghost Walt had something to say.

"He's coming back.. and they are gonna die" he said in a voice that seemed to be coming from inside Sawyer's head "it can't be stopped, the island demands it.."

"Demands what?" Sawyer asked, hearing whatever-it-was getting closer. He could actually hear it moving now, some horrible nightmare that he hoped he wouldn't see.

"Sacrifice.." Ghost-Walt said matter of factly "it's the only way to the truth..it'll show you the way..."

Sawyer was trying to back up, to get away from whatever was approaching. It was almost like a primal fear, an automatic reaction. But he couldn't seem to move. The light in the jungle dimmed even more, taking on a shadowy quality. Walt flickered slightly in front of him, like a tv loosing a signal, but he wasn't done talking.

"You can't stop it.. but you have to make the right choice..."

"What?" he asked again, not hearing this time but actually seeing the tree fall. Whatever it was was just over the rise, it would be here any second "what choice.. stop it with this Jedi crap Obi Wan"

Walt now began to flicker and fade but he one more thing to say.. just as Sawyer saw what looked like black smoke rising over the hill, and he felt his mind began to teeter slightly someone having a barbeque? he thought crazily and followed that up with it knows i'm here.... He began to back, finally able to move just as Walt left his final bit of Zen wisdom.

"You'll know when the time comes..." he answered "show it no fear and it will do you no harm.." and with he blinked out, like someone flicking a switch. And he was alone now. He tripped over a stump as he was backing up and fell on his ass and watched as the seemingly alive smoke moved closer to him at a rapid pace.

As it approached, Sawyer heard what sounded like a gunshot, which was followed by two more. It was coming from the direction of the smoke, which halted it's forward progress. He looked at it, and saw what it had for him. He felt a scream rising up within, thinking how it would be just to snap right here, then the blackness consumed him.

----------------------------------------

Kate was startled awake by a sudden movement next to her. She opened her eyes, trying to adjust them to the dark. She knew almost instintivly what the movement was, and that Sawyer was no longer next to her. This had happened enough times that she had come to expect it. He was prone to nightmares, sometimes he shook so badly she was afraid he was having a seizure. And when he woke from them he always looked terrified, if only for a brief second before he'd get himself to together. Kate had tried to ask him about them but he'd always brush her off, and when she'd push he'd get defensive to the point of being nasty. So she gave up trying for the time being, it was just easier. But she sensed domething was different this time, didn't know how she knew, she just knew.

"Sawyer?" she asked, reaching for the kerosene lamp "where are you?" She got no answer, and she thought maybe he'd gone outside, but when she turned on the lamp she saw that wasn't the case at all. He was sitting by the airplane wall, right on top of where his stash was actually, with his hand in front of his face, blocking the light. She craweled over to where he was, and when he saw he backed up a bit, as far as he could go. From the light shown by the lamp she could see he was utterly terrified.

He looked at her with only a hint of recognition in his eyss and whispered, "they'll die.. he told me and then it came.." he shook visiblily as he said this "and i saw things.. i don't want to see anymore.."

None of this made any sense to Kate at all, it was like incoherent babbling. She reached out to touch his face and he jumped and cringed slightly away. What the hells wrong with him? she thought confused, trying to make sense of this. And then out of the blue she had a vision of a moving column of smoke.. and it seemed alive. It was brief, like a quick subliminal message on a tv and then blinked out leaving her confused.

She barely had to time to think on it when Sawyer suddenly grabbed her arm hard and looking at her with insane eyes said "it knows where i am.. it knows where we we are, and they're comiing..."

Kate was suddenly very afraid for his sanity, something seemed to have come unhinged in him a bit. And then as suddenly as the fit had started it ended. The sanity returned t his eyes and he relaxed his grip on her arm, and at that point he suddenly looked very tired, like a child who'd been up too late.

In a very weak voice he said "i'm scared.." it seemed all he could manage.

The way his face looked when he said this made her forget any fear she might have had lingering, and without a word she put her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. And she held him that way for awhile, until he seemed to fall asleep in her arms.

She thought about what he'd said.. the last thing.. they're coming... For some reason it filled her with dread, mabye it had been the look in his eyes at the time, she wasn't sure. But that didn't matter for now, she was tired too.. besides might have a busy day tomorrow she thought with no idea how horribly phophetic she would be.

"Sawyer?" she whispered into his ear "let's go to bed ok?"

And without seeming to wake he obediantly did what she said. And as she laid down next, pulling the blanket over both of them and wrapping him tightly in her arms, she had a strange premonition. We aren't gonna be sleeping here tomorrow night.... She didn't know why she thought that, and drifted off before she could think on it anymore.

And outside the tent, away in the jungle, events were being set into motion...

more to come soon..

Sawyer was picking fruit, although maybe that wasn't quite the right word for it. Poking it was closer to the truth, and was darn irritable too, wondering how the hell she got him out here to do things like this. There was no one else on the planet that could get him up this early and have him poling at mangos with a tree branch, it was like a damn miracle. But that wasn't the only reason he was pissed. He had a splitting headache for some reason, and although he didn't know it, it would get worse shortly.

As he knocked more down and put it with the pile he got to thinking about their conversation that morning. The fact that they were kept out of the loop did bug him, but the idea that Kate was pissed cause Jack hadn't told her was grating on him a bit. He knew he had nothing to worry about in that catergory, but for some reason it still bothered him that Jack's opinion mattered that much to Kate still after all this time. He guessed some habits were just hard to break. Sawyer supposed he'd always be a bit insecure in that sense, he hadn't had much in his life that had mattered much to him, and the few things he had had been brutatlly taken away, so he could be excused for being a bit worried from time to time. Kate could make all the assurances she wanted but he would always carry that with him, the sense that every good thing he had would have something waiting around the corner to destroy it.

And the dream thing still nagged at him too, he had no recollection of that one which was strange cause normally he remembered his dreams, unfortunatly for him. And for some reason the mere thought of trying to remember what happened last night caused a feeling of terror in him, brought on by a strange image of smoke Which in turn caused the snarkiness as well. What bugged him the most was the strange urge this brought on to pick a fight with her, just to make her go away and stop being concerned about him. He felt like he was treading on dangerous territory here, feeling that distant yet ever present urge to push her away before she got too far inside. He hated himself a bit for that. And cause he was lost a bit in his thoughts he at first didn't hear the person behind him until she was almost upon him.

"Hey there cowboy"

Sawyer whirled around, surprised as hell that he'd been snuck up on, and then was slightly amused to see Ana there, smiling at him holding one of the mangos in her hand. There was a joke in here somewhere, but he decided to save that one for Kate. The woman in front of him may have been attractive but she wasn't the one he was sleeping with. But that didn't stop him from getting in a good wisecrack.

"Get your hands off my mangos woman"

Ana looked at him with weary amusement, "what are you gonna do if i don't?" She took a bite out of one of them as she said this "poke me with your big stick?"

Damn she was good he thought with amusement, he was gonna have a ton of stuff saved up now "you ain't that lucky Muchada" he said with a wink, and then proceeded to knock another one down. "So what the hell are ya here for anyways? Tired of playin doctor with Jacko or somethin?"

"I need a gun" she said matter of factly, throwing aside the stem of the fruit she'd just eaten.

Sawyer turned to her, and curious inquired "what the hell happened to the one you had?" remembering the one he'd given her awhile back. He'd never asked for it back, figuring she was a cop she knew how to handle one, and highly doubted she'd make the same mistake again. At least he had hoped.

"I gave it to Jack, he needed it more than i did, seein as how he and Locke went out on a jungle trek last night"

While he was curious about where the hell the Ghandi and the Doc had ran off to, he was more curious about why she needed another one "Well it ain't my fault you gave it away sugar" he said, leaning over and picking up the fruit he'd knocked down "so why the hell are you jonesin so bad about gettin 'nother one?"

"I just need it" she replied, looking away for a second and Sawyer thought he saw some desperation in her expression. And something else too, he should've recognized it, considering he'd worn the same expression himself on occasion. But his head was starting to throb again, so he missed it. And for some reason he felt like being a pain in the ass, it just came naturally.

"No can do cupcake, only got so many as it is" he turned and propped the stick up against the tree and turned back in her direction "beside i ain't anywhere near the stash right now"

"how about you just give me the one you have in your pants then?"

"hell no, you ain't special enough for that amiga" Sawyer said without missing a beat, and then kneeled down and began tossing the fruits in the bag. He looked up at her, about to say something else, when it died in his throat. He felt what could only be described as confusion mixed with terror and thought i'm losing my mind, i gotta be..

It was still Ana standing there but instead of healthy and attractive the woman in front of him looke pale and grey and lifeless. There appeared to be a hole in her chest that was dripping blood, and blood in her mouth as well. If that wasn't enough there was this pleading look in her eyes, and when she spoke the voice was gravelly and hoarse "you can't stop it" the apparition said "there's nothing you can do.."

Sawyer found himself stumbling back in horror at the sight, and then closed his eyes. And when he opened them again it was just Ana standing there, with her hands on her hips, looking very much alive and healthy. The look on her face was rather confused, probably taking in his horrified expression.

"What's the matter Tex, you look like you've seen a ghost.." she inquired.

Sawyer tried to shake off the vision as quickly as he could, and thought he succeeded quite well. Although he could still feel the slight trembling of his hands, as he tried to resume putting the fruit in the bag. And he didn't bother answering her question, how the hell would he? Was beginning to think he imagined it. Yeah keep tellin yourself that pal a voice in his head told him sternly you saw it...He pushed it away forcibly and worked on the task at hand.

Ana switched gears again, like a broken record "well what about the gun?"

And suddenly he really didn't want her to have one, the vision had rattled him as much as he tried to deny it had happened at all. Cause up to that point he had been considering letting her have one, just liked giving her a hard time that was all. But now he was pretty sure he wasn't gonna do it.

"sorry darlin" he said with forced good cheer "today ain't your lucky day" And then went to pick up up the bad, seeing as how he figured he'd gotten enough fruit now. As he was bending down he saw, or thought he saw that look of desperation again, mixed with anger as well.

"Give it to me" she commanded, stepping closer to where he was squatted down picking up the fruit.

Feeling irritation and simple anger, and his head pounding horribly he snarled "I said no woman" He stood up looking at her for a second and added "now go play somewhere else" and made a very big mistake. He turned his back on her, something he should've known better about doing with her, and therefore missed her picking up the stick behind him, a look of steely determination in her eyes.

He never knew what hit him, and by the time he woke up it was already too late...

to be continued as always...

Chapter 4 (part 1)

Kate was sitting at the campfire, watching the flames dance around the pieces of wood the guys had gathered wordlessy for it. They had been travelling all day, mostly in silence, which was rare, and slightly unnerving. Eapecially for Sawyer, who regularly made it a habit to be chatty on these kinds of things, but not this time, and the slience was getting to her. It wasn't so much that the others wouldn't talk much, that was at least understandable, they had all suffered losses to a degree so it at least could be considered mourning in a sense. And Mike was pre-cocupied with thoughts of Walt most likely, although Kate had a strange inkiling that that wasn't entirly the case there. But she was too concerned about Sawyer to think too much on the Mike angle. There was something wrong with him, and the fact that she couldn't get him to talk to her at all was bugging the hell out of her. Cause there were things she needed to talk to him about too, strange things that were bugging the hell out of her too.

She remembered him comforting her last night, and how she felt that safe and protected there in his arms. It was the most natural place in the world for her to be in that situation, and she had allowed herself to cry deeply and extendly while there. He hadn't said anything to her, just held her and let her cry, and she had eventually cried herself to sleep. And woke up later to the alarm going off. She had been under a blanket with a pillow under her head, and Sawyer was gone. And the next time she saw him he was distant and quiet, barely speaking to her at all, except to tell her neccesary things. It puzzled and hurt her, especially cause she could clearly see how much pain he'd been in, and how scared he seemed to be. What he didn't know was that she was just as afraid, and for similar reasons as well. It seemed like he was shutting her out again, holding back at a time when they really needed some communication, and that upset her greatly.

She sat alone by the fire, with only Hurley around to keep her company, and he was lost in his own thoughts. Most likely of Libby. Mike and Jack had gone off somewhere to talk, and Sawyer had gone off on his own, Kate presumed he had gone off to pee but she wasn't exactly sure. She supposed she could've followed him but didn't, he gave the air of wanting be alone, and she respected that no matter how much it bothered her.

She found her thoughs drifting over the last 24 hours, and like Sawyer was trying to make some kind of sense of the chaos, to no avail. She lost herself in thought.. thinking of the garden that morning..

------------------------------------

While Sawyer had been exchanging pleasantries with Ana in the mango grove, Kate herself had been planting in the garden, one of her favorite spots to go and think. Sun wasn't around so she was alone and was glad for the most part, it meant she was pretty free to brood to herself for the most part. She was thinking how Sawyer rarely if ever came here anymore, she thought she could understand why that was even though he'd never actually said it in words. Cause it was the scene of the crime so to speak, it reminded him of what he had been and was still to a degree capable of. He mentioned in passing that he'd talked to Sun about the whole thing, and Kate could see no uncomfortableness of any kind in the woman toward him. Although the other way around it was patently obvious. Sawyer woiuld always be harder on himself that anyone else could be, and he had a very hard time accepting forgivness, which was a trait she recognized a bit in herself sometimes.

She patted down the ground where she'd placed the seeds and found her thoughts drifting a bit more, thinking of how ornery Sawyer had been that morning. Not that he usually wasn't but she sensed a little more this time, especially when she brought up the dreams, which had always been a ore subject for him. But the funny thing was that he didn't seem to remember that one, at least that was the impression she got at the time. And he wasn't that good of a liar, at least not to her. She thougth of how frightened he'd been the night before, she'd never seen him that bad ever, and wondered what could've possibly scared him that bad. Kate had correctly guessed that his other nightmares had been about his parents, but this was different, and it was bugging her, esp the strange things he said afterwwards...they're coming...and that bizarre image of swirling smoke..She was so preoccupied with those thoughts that she didn't hear Libby at first until she repeated herself.

"Kate?"

Kate popped her head up in surprise and then smiled at the woman, whom she'd rather grown to like lately. Espeically seeing the effect she'd had on Hurley. "Hi there" she said, brushing her hands off on her jeans and standing up. "Can i do you for something?"

"Actually yeah" Libby said, looking around th garden curiously "i was looking for some wine for our picnic and i thought Sawyer might have some, but seeing as i can't find him i figured i'd ask you"

Kate laughed, the thought of Sawyer drinking wine was funny for some reason "i know he has whiskey, but i don't think he's got any wine" she said, walking over to her bag to her water bottle, "I think Jack might have some in the hatch though, that would probably be a good place to check"

"That's funny" she responded, smiling "i was just gonna go down there and get some blankets, Hurley's not much of a planner"

This caused Kate laugh as she squatted down to finish her seeding. "No i'd imagine not" she said thinking It was just to damn cute like Sawyer said, she was glad for both of them. And she had just begun to dig another hole when something strange happened.

It had been a clear, cloudless day but all of a sudden the light dimmed like a cloud had passed over. She looked up, feeling uneasy for some reason and saw that Libby had a strange look on her face, like she was in a trance or something. Her eyes looked haunted, and to Kate she looked very pale.

"Libby? are you ok?" she asked, concerned.

The other woman stood there a moment longer, and then finally spoke.

"He has to know it's not his fault..." she said in a toneless voice that didn't sound like hers at all "it blocks the power of the 3.."

Kate looked at Libby in confusion "What are you talking about?" she asked, feeling very afraid all of a sudden. And it's getting darker, how is that possible? the sun was out for crying out loud.

"the 3 are the key.." she continued to say, making no sense. The wind began to pick up, moving her hair around, creating an almost witchy look to Kate, "sacrifice leads the way..and the right choice must be made.."

Kate nearly tripped over her own backpack she was backing up so quickly "what the hell are you talking about?" she stammered, staring at the woman in front of her, who not 5 minutes before seemed normal. Am i going crazy? she thought, not knowing how in tune she was with Sawyer, who was thinking the same thing about a mile away.

"He needs to see..."

"See what?" Kate screamed over the suddenly strong wind, what the hells with you?"

Libby didn't answer just said in that strange voice "the truth.. it'll save you all.."

And all of a sudden Kate heard what sounded like 2 shots in her head, causing her to reflexivly close her eyes. And when she opened them it was bright again, with no wind. And she saw Libby was looking at her with concern. She was apparently back to normal, and had no clue what was going on.

"Kate are you alright?" she asked, stepping forward "you spaced out for a minute there.

Kate looked at her, seemingly unable to comprehend what had just happened. I've been out in the sun too long, she tried to convince herself that's gotta be it. But it had certainly seemed real that's for sure.

"i'm ok" she lied, bending to pick up the water bottle "just a little too much sun and not enough water."

Libby didn't look convinced "you sure?" she asked again.

"yeah" Kate said, putting on her bravest smile "right as rain"

She still didn't look convinced but accepted the explanation "well i guess i should go get those blankets then, wouldn't want to keep Hruley waiting.." she said, turning to go "hope your feeling better Kate"

And all of a sudden Kate didn't want her to go to the hatch, she couldn't explain the feeling, it was just there. It was like a shadow in her mind, nagging at her as Libby began to walk away. what the hell is wrong with me?

"Libby!" she found herself calling out.

Libby turned around with a questioning look and Kate thought what the hell ami gonna tell her? don't go in the hatch cause i have a funny feeling... There was simply no way to explain without sounding absolutly crazy. Something felt wrong, she couldn't put her finger on just what, and suddenly she needed to find Sawyer. She felt for some strange reason that he would understand this. cause he knows... she found herself thinking. It made no sense, but then again, nothing had for the last 15 minutes.

Libby was still looking at her expectantly, and Kate finally decided

"have fun on your picnic"

"Thanks" she answered, and then smiled and walked off to meet her fate.

Kate stood there for a minute longer, still feeling a slight tremble as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. Then she grabbed her bag, not caring about finishing her work, and took off back to camp to find Sawyer.

tbc

Chapter 5 (part 1)

Kate swung her head around wildly, trying to gauge the direction in which they coming from, it sounded like they were all around them. She held her gun out in front of her, and strained her eyes for any sign of movement. She thought she could make out vaguely human forms among the dense trees, and at one point was sure she saw eyes as well. She aimed the gun in that direction but they were gone in an instant. And the sound was driving her crazy, and she wasn't entirely sure that it wasn't in her own head. Sawyer still stood behind her but didn't have his gun out, strangely enough. Kate moved back closer to him, still pointing the gun at their seemingly invisible aggressors. Why aren't they attacking us? She thought in confusion we're sitting ducks here.

"Gun ain't gonna do ya any good..." Sawyer said in a strange voice, like he was tranced or something "dosen't hurt em'

Kate looked back at him, lowering the weapon as she did so, and saw a strange calmness in his features, which was rare for him on any day. Didn't matter the circumstances, he always seemed to wear that angry look, like a dog that was always ready to bite, always in defensive mode. But he seemed almost peaceful at the moment, as if they weren't surrounded by an omnipresent danger.

She stepped closer and could feel a strange sort of vibe coming off of him, like a wave of energy of some sort. And the closer she got to where he was the more she began to realize she was feeling it in herself as well. It almost became magnified in a sense. And the sounds of the whispers began to lose thier mavelonce, almost as if they were backing off from them. They're afraid of us she thought strangely we're too strong together.

She could pysically feel them backing off them, even if at the moment she couldn't see them. and the volume of the whispers, of which she could only pinpoint certain words out of, was going down as they got further away from where the two of them stood. Kate then looked down and realized that she had unconciously taken his hand, and was gripping it so tightly her knuckles were turning while. She could feel the current running through their intertwined fingers like an electrical charge. Sensing the danger had passed, she tucked her gun back in her pants and turned to face him. HIs eyes were closed and he seemed to be taking shallow breaths, almost as if he was bringing himself slowly back to normal. Feeling the need to touch him for some reason, she put her free hand up to his face and could feel a slight tremble beneath his skin, which was very warm to the touch, almost like he had a mild fever.

"Sawyer?" she whispered, pulling her other hand out of his and placing that on his face as well "what just happened?"

At first he gave her no response, merely stood there, but then he opened his brillant green eyes and looked at her. She felt a shiver go through her when she saw the absolute clarity in them, they seemed to see right into her, and it awed and frightened her at the same time. Is this James? she wondered or is this something else? She found she couldn't look away, could barely breathe for the moment.

"The White..." he told her cryptically, never taking his eyes off of hers "it's in us.. it's what we need to see.."

"What?" she asked confused. That made no sense to her, but then again, nothing had lately. "What do you mean?"

But Sawyer didn't answer. Instead his expression seemed to change back back to normal, at least normal for him that was. He looked to her like a man waking up from a dream, and the look on his face was one of confusion, not that strange clarity he'd just had.

"What the hell are ya doin out here Freckles" he aksed, stepping slightly back from her "i don't need a bodyguard to go take a piss"

Yup he's back to normal she thought, sltightly amused for a second. "You don't remember what just happened?" she found herself asking in wonderment.

"Remember what?" he asked, a trifle defensivly she noticed.

"The whispers? The Others?" she placed her hands on her hips looking at him crossly "we were almost captured by them and your standing her like nothing just happened.." That wasn't all of it but bringing up his weirdness of 5 minutes ago wasn't gonna help her here she knew.

"Well we weren't were we?" He said, not looking directly at her. He stepped around her as if to head back to camp "so what's the big deal?"

"The big deal?" Kate asked, incredulously, trotting after after him "The big is they didn't and they very easily could've.. and that you were gone for a goddamn hour, it doesn't take that long to take a piss, so where the hell wwre you all that time?"

Sawyer stopped in his tracks in front of her, and then turned around to look at her. The look he was trying to give was one of anger and irriataion but Kate could see visible fear in his expression as well. The expression was actually closer to scared s***less, but she knew him well enough to know he wasn't gonna admit to that. He doesn't know he was gone that long she thought, suddenly scared herself what's wrong with him?

"Since when is it your goddamn business what the hell i was doin out there?"

Kate tried to ignore the snarkiness in his voice, she wasn't gonna let him goad her into a fight in the middle of the damn jungle "It's my business cause i give a damn about you" She reached out and took his hand, and looking him in the eyes said "i'm worried about you ok?" She could see the visible effect her obvious concern was having him on him, and thought for a second he might open up, but instead she could see him closing back up again. Putting on the old face so to speak.

"There's nothin to worry about darlin" he assured her, gently removing his hand from hers "I'm fine and dandy" And with that turned around and began walking toward camp again.

Kate stood there a few seconds longer, watching Sawyer walk away with that set determination that he always seemed to have. Didn't matter whether he was walking toward something or away from it, it was the same either way. It was like he didn't want to show any fear or weakness in the face of anything, so he simply walked instead of ran. But to Kate it was the same either way, cause just like her he couldn't stay and face anything, the speed of the departure made no difference. She stood a bit longer, listening to the sounds of the jungle around her, and there was nothing out of the ordinary this time, and she didn't feel scared at all.

Whatever had come after them tonight had decided to stay away for the time being, and for that she was relieved. And suddenly she heard Sawyers voice coming from somewhere up ahead in the dark cpose of trees.

"Hurry up Freckles before Barbar eats all the marshmellows"

She found herself laughing in spite of herself, at least he has his sense of humor back she thought to herself. It was good to laugh a bit she guessed, in spite of everything that was happening around them. And putting aside all the strangeness and the pain for the moment, she headed back toward the camp, knowing they both needed to get some rest. They had a long day ahead after all.

tbc as always heheehe

and soon i promise

Sawyer lay with head against the log, watching the fire slowly burn itsefl out. Kate was sleeping next to him, with her her head on his shoulder and her arm casully draped over his midsection. She'd been out for a least an hour, maybe more, exausted from the days walk it seemed. Although he thought mental exaustion might have played a part too, it had been a chaotic couple days and neither one of them had gotten much sleep. He was happy that a least she was getting it, he himself couldn't, or more precisly, wouldn't sleep. His was terrified of his dreams lately, and what he might see in them. So willed himself to stay awake, not healthy he knew but he didn't give much of a f**k about that. He'd never been mentally healthy in his life so why start now.

He found himself looking at Kate's sleeping face, seeing her eyelids flutter slighty as was involved in some dream probably. He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and simply studied her, something he liked to do on these occasions when he awake and she was sleeping. She wore a calm beauty about her while she was asleep that seemed to hold his attention. It was in those times when he really thougth that he could admit to loving her, but when she was awake he always clammed up about it, always with the fear of showing too much. It bugged the hell out of him that he sitll wouldn't let her get that deep inside yet, but his old habits of protection had been there a long time, and they were very hard to get out of. He wasn't being straight with her lately, using the useful tools of denial and snarkery to keep his fear at bay, and to hide it friom everyone else as well. That fear that he was going crazy. It was the only thing he could think of to explain everything that was happening to him lately. I'm losing my f***in mind, like that kid in that movie i'm seein f***in dead people....

Sawyer found himself looking down at Kate, wishing like hell he could tell her this, tell her about what he saw in the jungle right befoer she showed up... tell her that he did remember some of the things that happened while she was there. But he couldn't, he'd never ever wanted to ask for any kind of help with anything, it was like inbred within him. The 'I can handle it' mentality, he'd practiced since he was a kid. Besides it's not like anyone had ever really given a damn before, so he usually handled things himself. Until now that was. It was a relitivly new thing to have people give a s**t about what happened to him and it scared the ever lovin f**k out o him. Especially with her, she made sure he ate 3 times a day, got his wounds checked out, gave him haircuts, etc etc. No had done crap like for him in along time. But he couldn't ask for her help with this. What he failed to realize was that Kate was seeing things too, and badly wanted to tell him that as well, but some of the same things were holding her back too. They could help eachother out if they'd only allow it.

And now, running his fingers through Kate's dark hair, and watching her sleeping face, Sawyer began to think on what he'd seen in the jungle earlier that night... and on the warning.. from her of all people...

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She was right, he had gone out to pee, well that was part of it. The other part being he just had to get away from the jolly bunch. Especially her though, her eyes were asking too many damn questions, and if he knew her like he thought he did, she would put them into words soon. The last 2 days had been so Fubar that she'd barely had the time, but now that they'd be out away from things he saw her gearing up a bit to ask to ask him those dreaded questions.... 'how do you feel?' and 'are you ok?' Those sorts of things, questions he'd rarely get asked before and really didn't want to answer now. He was afraid she'd start looking at him with those big blue eyes of hers and he just might spill his guts, and he was very afraid of where that might lead.

Sawyer stopped suddenly, realizing that he'd been walking for a good 20 minutes, lovely he thought, kicking himself good way to get yourself lost idiot. He was a piss poor tracker he knew, and his sense of direction wasn't exactly great either. Of course it didn't help that every damn tree out here looked exactly the same to him. He heard crickets chirping and frogs croaking, almost like they were mocking him just a bit, bringing on an urge to squash the little buggers. That thought led him to Hurley, and he immediatly felt bad. He recalled squashing that frog right front of him that day. He hadn't felt bad about it at the time, still didn't feel terrible actually, it wa only a freakin frog for cryin out loud, but he now felt particularly awful for doing it in front of Hurley. And he especailly felt bad now, considering the circumstances and all. But as much as he would've liked to apologize for that, it was yet another thing he wasn't much good at either.

Then all of a sudden, things grew strangely quiet, the little froggy bastard had stopped chirping his happy ass off and it was utterly silent. Well not totally silent... Sawyer realized that all his senses were for some reason on hyper-alert and his ears had picked up what sounded like rustlling in the brush not 20 feet behind him. He pulled his gun out of the back of his pants and turned in that direction, ready for whoever, or whatever it might be. He half-expected, hoped actually, that it would be Kate, coming to check up on him, cause he knew with absolute certainty that he was screwed otherwise.

And now he found that he could make out the form of the person who approaching through the trees, and for moment thought it could've been her, hell the hair color was the same.. And all of a sudden he felt cold all over, to the point where his fingers went numb and the gun fell out of it. Not that that he had much use for it mind you. cause the person he saw had no earthly right to be there at all.... hell they had just buried her this morning for crissakes..

"Ana" he breathed, unable to keep himself from shaking i've got to be losin my goddamn mind..

She stood there for a second, in her familar jeans and tank top, with her arms crossed over her chest and then said 'hey there cowboy.."

"Pardon me for statin the obvious Mamacita, but aren't ya supposed to be dead?" He felt ridiculous for even asking the question seeing as how there was no f***ing way she could be anything more than a product of his guilt ridden imagaination.

"I'm here to give you a message" Ghost-Ana said in that same no nonsense voice he'd grown accustomed to hearing from her.

"From who?' he asked incredulously "Casper?"

She smiled, which was a rare sight in life for her, but slightly unnerving now that she was an apparition "no smartass, from the kid... Walt.."

"What?" he stammered, and then out of nowhere came the lost memory of his dream, Walt spaking to him.. and then the smoke..

"He says they're blocking him now.. won't him let tell you what you need to know..."

"And just what the hell do i need to know?" he inquired, not believing he was having this conversation.

"What you refuse to see..." Ghost-Ana stated simply, looking at him with those cool brown eyes of hers "the truth always sets us free.. i should know"

"Well excuse me for saying so chica, but that makes absolutly no f***in sesnse"

Ghost-Ana seemed to ignore this and then said "by the way... he's lying..." and then she began to turn around and walk back in the direction she came from "remember the White.. it'll save you all.."

"Wait a godammn minute" he yelled at her retreating form "whose lyin? and what the hell is the White??"

She didn't answer, just simply vanished into thin air.

Sawyer stood there for what seemed like an eternity, trying in vain to convince himself that what he'd just seen was a hallucination brought on by lack of sleep. It had to be, cause if it wasn't they were gonna have to start fitting him for a straitjacket pretty soon. If they got off the island that was...

The jungle was still eerily quiet around him, and he suddenly felt isolated and very vulnerable out here. He felt himself still shaking frrom what he'd just seen, and tried to get himself under control. Panicking wasn't gonna help. And that's when he heard it. The whsipers.. And thought for no reason Kate...she's out here too. And then a strange blackness seemed to come over him... rational thought seemed to fall away, and suddenly he knew which direction to go in...

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Sawyer came back from these thoughts to a sound of movement outside the perimeter of their campsite. Without taking his other arm off of Kate, he pulled the gun out and pointed it in the direction of the noise. And was relieved to see Mike come out of the bushes. He lowered the gun and smiled at him.

"That's a good way to get yourself shot again partner"

Mike gave a strange smile as Sawyer said this which caused the latter man to feel slightly uneasy. He remembered Ana he's lying...

but couldn't for the life of him think of why associated that with Mike, she could've meant anyone.

"i'll keep that in mind" Mike said, going over to his own blanket "g'nite man"

"Likewise"

Sawyer watched Mike, curl up into his blanket, trying to dispell the distrurbing notion that he was hiding something. Just some residual effects he thought, letting it go for the moment. He pulled Kate tighter to him, needing to feel her presence and warmth for some reason. She moved her arm up slightly and settled in again, seeming to fit perfectly into his arms. He could feel her slow intake of breath on his neck and her hair against his cheek. He relished the feeling, cause she felt real and alive to him, and after the things he'd seen lately that gave him the most comfort. And despite his best efforts he found himself falling asleep too, with the normal sounds of the jungle in his ears.

He and everyoone else would be awoken by her screams several hours later...

tbc in the next chapter as always hehehehe