The Forgotten Child

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

The Forgotten Child

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 42 - Starry Starry Night

She found him contemplatively settled into the sand, resting his arms on his knees and holding a brightly colored photograph. She kept her distance, swept up in a tinge of insecurity. She had been so eager to ask him questions, but now she wasnt so confident.

Just as with everyone else, she knew him But he was a stranger. And she was even more of a stranger to him. At least it would seem that way but for the absence of the look everyone else had in their eyes when first meeting her. The look that asked poignantly, Who the hell are you?

She had once asked herself the same question while gazing like Snow White at her own reflection within a silver pool of glass. Sometimes she asked still.

Bens daughter? Jacks... Jack didn't even remember her. She was just as lost as any of these people. A forgotten child trying to figure it all out. Three steps backwards for each one step taken.

She was ready to just walk away without saying anything at all when he spoke without turning. Need somethin' miss? Or just admirin' the scenery?

She dropped her eyes for a moment and smiled. She always found his voice fascinating. The way it lifted in its melodic fashion. She had heard none like it.

Sarah is it? He continued, stealing a quick glance. Where'd they find you?

She was more amused than intimidated by his casual curtness, and stepped forwards, sitting next to him. I guess I found them.

At least this time around.

Aye. So how goes it after what happened to your man Eko yesterday?

With raised eyebrows, she bounced her head a bit. It was going about as good as it could be, all things considering. This was all the response she could manage while eyeing the colorful photograph of what she recognized as Des and a woman standing with her head against his shoulder. She wanted to know, but she didn't ask, and he either did not notice her questioning gaze or didn't care to answer it.

"Did they Well, did they find anything in there? The Pearl?" She said finally, after staring for several minutes out over the shoreline.

"Aye," He said. "There was a man."

"A man? You found a man in there? "

"Not in the hatch, no. One of the cameras. Once Sayid found the right one, it came on an there was a man with a patch over his eye. He looked in the camera an then switched it off."

She searched her mind but found nothing. No memory of a man with a patch among the others. She was very much aware of the fact that she had not seen all of them. Only the ones Ben allowed her to. She had no idea neither how many of them nor how many hatches there were.

"Do they Well ... Think hes one of them? "

"I dont really know."

Well, of course he didn't know. How stupid of her! How could they know?

A man with a patch over his eye. She wondered if they were arranging another party to look for him. If they did, she would go with them again, especially if it were an attempt to rescue the others. She needed to know that Jack was safe. Even if it meant that she were not. This was her life all that she knew. She would give anything to assure that none else shared the same burden.

But she had strayed from her reason in seeking Desmond in the first place. Shed let the conversation wander with no particular direction because she didnt know how to ask the question in her head. She did not even know how to form it.

That guy sees the future dude.

Maybe it was a stretch, but it was something. She had also seen the future in a sense, and that had to mean something. Didn't it? And if not, perhaps he of all people might understand if not empathize.

She eyed him in a pondering fashion until he raised his eyes to hers. A clear brown gaze that held her in an odd manner. There was something in them that was not like the others, she had seen it before, but even stronger now. He looked at her as if it were nothing new. Like one would gaze at a familiar acquaintance. She found it both relieving, but equally disconcerting. How could he know her?

"Des," She heard herself asking. "Do ... Do you know me?"

He dropped his head, raised it and gave a quiet chuckle. Now how would I?

She held herself upright, rolling her eyes in an attempt to gather her thoughts into words. Mouth open, she worked her jaw, and then responded.

"I ... well ..."

That was intelligent. She mocked herself. But he turned his head regardless, and studied her patiently waiting for her reply. She blinked.

"Because, Desmond I see things. I mean I have seen things. And I haven't told anybody because Im sure they'll either think I'm crazy or lying, but somehow I get the idea that you won't. That maybe you might know what I mean."

She could hardly believe she had gotten the words out. He had not moved, or shown much of a facial response making it difficult to know what he had made of her rant. Would he dismiss her as a lunatic? Regardless, she heard herself blabbering.

"I've been on this beach before. With all of you. It was real. But then it wasn't real because I woke up somewhere else and not here. I don't understand it and I can't explain it. '

"And you think I can? "He said, staring at the ocean.

"I ... I dunno. I just ... I thought ..."

She rose nervously, feeling stupid for approaching him, and brushed the sand from her rear. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make assumptions. I didnt mean to Im really sorry. "

She turned away empty-handed, and started back wondering how much worse it would be if she tried to explain it to Sayid. Or anyone else. There wasn't a hatch they could lock her in, unless they took her to the Pearl and that seemed highly unlikely given they would need a guard twenty-seven. Maybe they would simply tie her to a tree or something.

She realized that she was conjuring up irrational scenarios from her own insecurities and took a deep breath attempting to calm herself. Des had not berated her at least. He'd not put a wide amount of space between them once hearing her insane story. Well, part of it anyway. He had not called her a raving lunatic nor did he call for help in restraining her and she supposed that was something to be happy over.

"Sarah." His voice cut through her rampantly running thoughts. She halted and then turned. "Maybe you should show him whats in your pocket. "

Mouth dropped open, her brows lowered in shock. She knew all too well what was in her pocket. And she was the only one who knew, aside from Alex who was miles away now. A small black button. Had anyone seen it they would have dismissed it.

But that button was her connection to one of the few things that mattered to her.

It was rather puzzling, but she had never actually questioned it before. When she'd first found it in her pocket, she'd assumed it was proof that Ben was lying to her and that she had been with the crash survivors all along. That she had been with them in the hatch and that she had actually found herself within them.

Startling as it was, Ben had spoken the truth for once.

Until now, she hadn't the time to think about it. If none of it were real, how did she have it now? Had she been so caught up in it, believed it to be so real that she managed to pull it from her own vision? What other explanation was there?

The corners of his mouth curved up in a faint smile, and then he turned his head staring down at the photograph in his hands. This was not exactly the same Desmond Hume she had met the first time. This one was sober and cryptic as well. And she sensed a sadness in him.

She put a foot forward, but then quickly changed her mind. It was obvious that he had other things consuming his thoughts and didn't need to be burdened with her added problems. She turned, his words running through her head and eventually crossed paths with Claire who was walking in Dess direction.

Sarah couldnt help but notice how beautiful she was. Her skin was like porcelain and her eyes a clear blue. She had swept her silk-blonde hair up loosely with strands of it catching the breeze. "Oh Claire! Are you okay? "

Claire nodded and smiled speaking in her Australian voice. " Yea, Im fine. Just a little shaken up. "

Sarah nodded. "I am so sorry. I looked back when the tide started kicking up. When I didn't see you I thought you'd gone back in. If I had known "

"Well, its certainly not your fault. I mean unless you have some kind of power over the ocean or something. "

Sarah laughed. "No, not really. "

They parted with Claire headed to where Desmond was sitting. Sarah turned for a moment and saw her lower herself down beside him.

Maybe you should show him whats in your pocket.

Did this mean that Desmond had the same vision? Did he know everything she knew? It was all too boggling and she longed to run back and rain down a shower of questions but knew that it would probably be the worst that she could do.

Charlie was not far behind Claire. He stood near her tent holding Aaron and concentrating on the two figures in the sand. His obvious jealousy amused her. Judging by the way Des held that photograph, running his thumb over the image; he had only one woman on his mind.

She smiled, said "hello" and then passed them, catching sight of the large silver ring he wore on his middle finger and thought of the airport where Charlie sat tapping the back of the seat with it. He had looked troubled then, with dark eyes and a hooded jacket. Not so much now.

She found her way to the kitchen with it relatively empty; being that it was between lunch and dinner. She had only just gotten her appetite after the mornings events. There was a varied selection of fruits and nuts, along with a humble portion of leftover meat and fish. She turned her nose up at the boar, while taking the fish and getting a bottle of water.

"Not much for Boar?" Locke teased, entering and grabbing a slice of pineapple.

She smiled. "Not really." Not after she saw them eating people.

She flicked a glance over his face and remembered something Jack had said before. Locke was the one who hunted the boar, skinned them and made them ready for the rest of the people to eat. Now she felt incredibly ungrateful. Here they all were, stranded on a deserted island where food was a luxury and she was turning her nose up at it. She pressed her lips together regretfully and then spoke. "I ... it's not that well. I mean I could never hunt boars or anything like that. It's a good thing theres somebody here who can. "

Locke shook his head amused by her stammering, and gazed on her with twinkling blue eyes. "I understand. No big deal. Hey I was headed over there to those two airline seats, wanna join me?"

She took her plate while he gathered his own, two bottles of water, and together they walked to the two chairs, making themselves comfortable. She had run across a bag of chips and made sure to add some to her meal for old time sake, munching them while chatting with Locke.

She was actually more than happy to spend some time with him. She had not spoken with him as often as Jack and Sayid, but she was comfortable in his presence nonetheless. Perhaps she had reason to be. She pushed that thought from her mind while gazing out over the camp. Another day nearly halfway finished.

"So, I was wondering how you were feeling. You know after what happened yesterday?" Locke questioned with a relaxed attentiveness.

She looked him over thoughtfully before responding. "Well, I have my appetite back. "

He bobbed his head. "Yea, understandable."

He took a swig of water and was silent for quite sometime, leaving her curious as to why hed invited her to join him. She wasnt naive enough to think it was only for the company. He turned his head and gave her a long glance.

"What was it? What was it that you saw out there?"

Oh how she wished he had not asked her that. She did not want to relive it. She didnt want to even think about it. That thick creature of smoke, turning in and out of itself, throwing Eko around like a rag doll. The swirling smoke filled eyes.

But he had made her think of it. She returned his gaze weakly.

"I saw it too." He said. "I stood very still and I saw it. It was a beautiful bright light. "

A beautiful bright light? If only. No, what she had seen was not flowers and light and pretty music. It was ugly and unnatural. She could call it many things, but not beautiful. She dipped her head and then replied.

"That's not what I saw. "

He must have caught the reservation in her tone, or the look in her eyes and smiled assuredly. "Its okay. Im not trying to push you. I only wanted to understand."

She knew he was sincere, in a way. But in another way, she sensed something underneath. There was a method to his madness and it led to some ulterior motive, yet she could not pinpoint what it might be. Locke was certainly an enigma, as were quite a few of the people she had met along the way.

"I'm sorry." She found herself apologizing again. "I don't mean to be defensive. "

He shook his head. "It's perfectly fine considering what you've been through. I was out of line for asking. "

"It killed him." She said bluntly. "It was smoke. A big black cloud that reached down, snatched him up, and killed him. And when it was through, it came after me. "

"Smoke?"

She lowered her head and raised her eyes as if to say. Well, you asked, so now you dont like what you hear?

"Okay, so it was smoke. "

She sighed, yes, it sounded crazy, but it all did, so that was nothing new. "That's what I saw. I cant explain it; I can only tell you what I saw. "

"It's okay. Of course you cant explain it. No ones asking you to."

He screwed the cap on his bottle after drinking the last swallow and then smiled. "You know, I happen to have a backgammon board with me. I brought it on the flight. Maybe we can play sometime."

She had not lied when she said she knew how to play, but it was Ben who taught her. She had played with Alex before, though Alex really didnt understand the game. Not as well as Ben. Now she didnt relish the thought of the game at all. Locke must have caught that reluctance as well. Or maybe not.

She smiled hospitably, "No, that would be great to play sometime. But right now, I feel like resting, if thats okay."

She rose, intending on taking her plate to the makeshift trash can, but he offered to return it himself. She thanked him and turned to make her way home, when she paused.

"Locke?"

He stopped and then said. "You can call me John. Lockes my sir name."

"John." She rather liked it. "Alright then John. I sorta had a question too. "

"Fair enough. Shoot."

"Well I ... when we were out there yesterday I mean. When we stopped and you were whittling, you were humming something."

"I was?"

"Well, yeah."

He stood thoughtfully for a moment and then his face lit with recognition. "Oh that. Yea, its one of my favorite tunes. By Don McLean ... Way before your time. Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to know the name of it."

He rubbed his chin. "Some people call it Starry Starry Night, but I think the original name was Vincent. Its about an artist. His name was Vincent Van Goh. Crazy, but talented and grossly misunderstood. At least I think thats the point of the song. I dont care much for art, I just like the tune. "

She knew her face was turning some type of color other than the normal peaches and cream, but she could do nothing about it. He took on a concerned look. "Are you alright?"

She put a hand on her face, and then attempted to pretend as though she didnt feel dizzy. "I'm fine. Really. Im just gonna go rest a little."

He took a step forwards, the concern growing. "Why don't you let me walk you back. Really, its no trouble. "

"It's alright. Im fine. I think maybe it was the fish."

With that, she turned and treaded through sand in the direction of her tent. Sayid spotted her from the front of his. He was busy working on something and raised himself at the sight of her, noting her erratic behavior.

"Sarah. What's wrong? "

"It's Okay." She denied. "I just got dizzy for a moment, probably something I ate. I'll go lie down and I'll be fine. Really."

She was lying through her teeth of course. The faintness was not from the fish, nor from anything she had eaten. She lowered herself on her thick layer of blankets and covered herself with one of them. Head resting on an airline pillow, she closed her eyes.

Starry, starry night. Paint your palette blue and grey, Look out on a summer's day, With eyes that know the darkness in my soul. Shadows on the hills, Sketch the trees and the daffodils, Catch the breeze and the winter chills, In colors on the snowy linen land.

-- Edited by LionQueen at 18:18, 2007-07-13

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 43 Voice of Conviction

Only one day - a little over twenty-four hours - was what lay between Sarah and the final minutes of Ekos last breath. She was sleeping better, marginally, although she rose before dawn. She spent the early moments before sunrise resting atop the boulders she had warmed herself on the day before, while drying her hair in the soft breeze, and watched the sun come up. It crept along the rolls of dark, brooding waters; subtly at first until it set the sea on fire in brilliant orange and red hues.

As breathtaking as it was, she could not shake the feeling that lie underneath her skin. The one that told her she was only fooling herself if she thought that anything awaited her beyond the horizon, somewhere far from the endless stretch of ocean water that dissolved into a hazy sky. It was the same feeling she had been fighting since her escape. As natural as breathing.

She found inspiration, however, when she lifted her eyes away from the ocean, across the white sand and over the camp. They were fighting - together - hoping and living beyond their circumstances. This was enough.

Once the sun grew to its full strength, she gathered herself and stood, pressing bare feet into the sand. Swinging her shoes by her side, she strolled along the shore until she happened upon rows of wooden structures protruding out of the sand.

She had seen a cross once years ago, as a small child, but never rows of them standing upright from the ground. She approached slowly, sensing something sacred and somber and noted a single figure standing among them. Hurley.

He knelt before a single cross, the ocean behind him, and gently placed a flower at the foot of it. This was Libbys grave. She realized she had stumbled onto the makeshift graveyard dug by the group with the intention of burying their dead. They initially burned the carnage from the crash, but this was for the ones who did not survive the aftermath. Victims of the island itself. She thought of the speech Hurley had given at Libbys burial spoken with awkwardness but so thoughtfully.

When the gathering was dispersed, they all turned and walked away leaving behind two mounds of dirt marking Libby and Anas graves.

Hurley stood, turned and then scowled at the sight of her. "What the hell are you doin? Spying on me? "

Frozen in her place, her mouth dropped while he ranted. " Dude, thats not cool! What gives you the right? Just because Sayid gives you the nod, you think you can just do anything you want? "
"
W... W... Well I..."

"Look just leave me the hell alone okay?" With that, he brusquely turned and tromped off. She understood his reaction with clarity. Regardless if Libby were dead or alive, Sarah had unwittingly invited herself into a private intimate moment; one in which a stranger was not welcome.

Even now, she could not seem to avoid being at the wrong place at the wrong time or sticking her foot in her mouth. She sighed and flicked her eyes over the remaining graves wondering whose memories they held deep within them.

A glint of something caught her eye and she made her way to the grave where hung a small chain, catching flickers of sunlight. She knelt, staring at it swaying in the breeze and ran a finger along it's length, pondering its drawing power.

She flinched at the sound of a voice, one she knew so very well. "What are you doing? "

Sayid stood with a hand on his hip, assuming his usual weight on one foot stance, and drew his brows into a near scowl. She pressed her lips together. Unwittingly ticking off two people, under two separate circumstances, within a matter of five minutes presumably wasnt a record, but impressive at best. She rose, flicking an embarrassed glance to the ground. She wasnt certain of her error, but would not dare question him now. Not after interpreting the tone of his voice and his intense stare boring into her.

"Well?"

She shuffled her feet and then choked on her words, which she managed to eek out shakily. "I ... I ... was just w...walking. "

"Walking?" He echoed. "And you just merely happened upon this grave by chance?"

She wanted to look up, but couldnt bring herself to. She hadnt done anything intentionally, why was he so angry? Hurley was short with her because she had stumbled into a moment that left him open and vulnerable. Libby was the woman he had loved and there at her grave, he was able to release the feelings he kept hidden from others. Visiting her grave was a private and intimate solace upon which Sarah had haphazardly stumbled. But Sayid.

She swallowed hard and then whispered. "I ... I'm sorry. I didn't mean any harm, I just ..."

She lifted her eyes to his long enough for him to catch a flicker of bewilderment in them and then she turned her heels, hiking up the hill to the camp, ignoring his calls. She traipsed through the hot sand red-faced and embarrassed, for reasons she could not explain. Maybe it was the way she felt when she knew he was displeased with her or the sense that she had invaded some private place in him as well. Either way, if she faced him she would fall apart - and she knew it.

She nearly slammed into John. He braced her by the elbows, and then flicked concerned eyes over her face. "You're runnin like the devils chasin you. What's wrong? "

It seemed she was destined to be apologetic for the rest of her life. She stepped back and shook her head. "I'm sorry. It I guess I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I ... I dunno. "

"Well, walk with me a little and we can talk about it. Okay? "

She bobbed her head and then followed him a short distance across the beach, telling him about the course of her morning. How she walked along the shore and discovered the gravesite, only to unintentionally intrude on Hurleys visit to Libbys grave and then Sayids strange interrogation not long after.

John nodded with understanding. "That was Shannons grave. "

She flicked a hazel-eyed gaze into his face and he continued. Though she already knew some of the story, he unawarely filled her in on the parts that she had not already heard. Shannon and Sayids relationship formed through the two of them working together on French written map Sayid had retrieved from the French woman, Danielle. Oh yes, Sarah remembered Danielle. The arrow-bearing crazy woman who lived in the jungle.

While Sayid was a brilliant man; he knew little of the language. Sarah supposed he was at least one up on her being that she didnt know there was such a place as France much less people who spoke French.

Shannon however, did understand the language, to an extent, having lived there while in school. This in mind, Sayid enlisted her to help him decipher the words on the map. Although, he was more than capable of reading the geography of the map itself.

This is when their bonding began and ended shortly thereafter. In an attempt to find rescue, Michael, Sawyer, Jin and Michaels small son - Walt - set out on a raft. This resulted in the others kidnapping Walt, destroying the raft, and the three men captured by another group of survivors who had been living on the other side of the island.

Sarah learned that Ana Lucia, Libby, Eko and Bernard - Roses husband - were all that remained of the tail section of the plane. They forced Jin and Michael, with an injured Sawyer, to lead them to the beach. Distracted by strange whispers, the pouring rain and their own inner bickering, the group halted with a heightened alertness unaware that Shannon and Sayid were somewhere ahead of them. Ana drew her gun and then fired into the brush. A pale figure emerged, stumbling into the clearing. Ana Lucia had inadvertently fired her gun into Shannon and she died in Sayids arms.

John recalled when Sayid entered the camp carrying her lifeless body with an empty and lost look on his face. Sarah nodded. She understood now. She had happen chancily intruded upon Sayids privacy as well. Her conclusion was in line with everyone elses. Had Ben and the others not created such suspicion, uneasiness within the two groups, Ana would not have fired the gun, and Shannon might still be alive.

Although if she were alive, she would be with Sayid and that was difficult to imagine. What if Sarah had returned to the beach and found Shannon and Sayids relationship alive and flourishing? Could she have been noble and accepted his contentment or would jealousy have gotten the better of her?

"Hmm, " John broke her thoughts, "So, I guess you see why he'd be a bit touchy. "

His blue eyes looked right through her as if he knew her thoughts. She dropped her head with a feeling of shame and nodded. "Yea. I'll try not to go back that way. "

He stopped short and turned. "Why?"

Startled by his response, she stepped back until he stepped forwards and turned her until he was staring persistently into her face insisting with a voice of conviction.

"Sarah, I know where youre at. Tryin to find your place. But don't you ever let anybody tell you what you can or can't do. "

In that moment, her view of John Locke changed. He was an unassuming man, dismissed by most, but within him was someone longing to break free from the expectation of others and live his life ... his way. In a wheel chair he was to be pitied, yet, standing upright, he was a man with a mission.

This was something Sarah could understand and respect.

This is what she wanted also. Linking eyes, they had shared the same longing, the same quest for identity. In that moment there was an understanding between them. One that whirled her head around bringing Judes last words echoing in her mind and sent her staring up at him.

She studied his face, noting the faint scar that trailed from above his brow and down his cheek. His eyes were crystal blue, unlike hers. She nodded slowly, only faintly aware of the figure approaching.

Sayid dipped his head to John and then eyed Sarah. "I've been looking for you."

"And here she is." Locke responded with eyes twinkling then nodded off to Sarah. "Excuse me."

She turned watching him meander towards the kitchen and dropped her head while shuffling her feet in the sand, painfully aware of Sayids heavy stare. She flicked her eyes to his and swallowed, but he returned her gaze with a semi smile and then lightly placed a hand on her back. "There's something I'd like to show you. "

He nudged her forwards. She stopped only to slide her feet in her shoes and then allowed him to lead her past the kitchen and through the camp until they came to a thick grove. He nudged her forwards to the bottom of a steep hill. She cupped a hand over her brows and scanned the top edge until it seemed to nearly touch the sky.

"It's a small hike." He said. "Come on. "

He positioned himself close behind, helping her forwards when she needed the extra boost. They continued this way for a good fifteen minutes. Once nearing the top, he stepped around and then in front of her, holding out a hand to pull her up. She hesitated for only a moment knowing the jolt of electricity that would shoot through her once her hand was lost in his. However, she gave it anyway and was faint at the touch of his fingers enclosing around hers.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah. "

"Well, come on then." He guided her up the rest of the way and then the view overtook her. He nudged her forwards until she was standing near the edge of a breathtakingly high cliff that swept down into the ocean below. Over to the left, a white crested waterfall plummeted down the side and tumbled into the shore, merging with the foamy waves that lapped along the rocky bottom.

"I had hoped to bring you here later in the day, when the sun was not so high, but now is just as well. "He lowered his pack, retrieved two water bottles, and then smoothed out a rust colored cloth over one of the boulders. "I noticed that you spend much time sitting on the rocks near the shore particularly at sunrise or sunset. I thought you might enjoy it from a higher viewing point. "

At his prompting, she sat on a smaller boulder, and listened while he explained that this spot had easily become one of his favorite thinking places. When he sought solitude more than anything else, he would climb the hill and sit at the top of the cliff listening to the waterfall and peering out over the crystal ocean melting into the azure sky. There he could almost forget his current circumstances and merely enjoy the beauty for what it was.

She flicked a self-conscious smile towards him while meandering to the edge of the cliff and staring out over the ocean, as she often did these days, and then sighed. Although the view was breathtaking and capable of evoking deep emotion, it was not merely its beauty that drew her but the thought that perhaps there was nothing else out there beyond endless rolls of water. Maybe this was all there was. This island and spending all of her days running for nothing.

And this was not all she thought of. Somewhere beneath those rolls of water sat an underwater hatch. The hatch where she had left someone behind, trapped within a wall of glass.

She turned her head, and scanned him, wondering if his intentions held more than just wanting to display the scenery.

"You need not look so suspicious." He commented observantly. "I thought you could use a diversion. "

She couldnt argue with that. She sipped water while gazing out over the falls. Though he was being gentle, she knew the questions behind his eyes. The ones he wasnt asking. She dropped her head, and then turned a steady gaze into those dark eyes and spoke. "What is it? What is it that you want to know?"

He took his time responding, as if mulling it over. When he spoke, however, he chose his words thoughtfully and uncharacteristically in a no threatening manner. "To be forthcoming, you appear somewhat of an enigma. You say you have never roamed this island yet you approached the Pearl as if you had already been there. In fact, I have not noticed you react to much of anything as if it were new to you. You called Vincent by name. Would this not strike you as odd? "

She lowered the bottle having lost her breath, and gulped. He would know if she was lying, and she didnt really want to lie anyway. This was proving to be an impossible task trying to be honest while trying protect herself. Perhaps Desmond was right. He could doubt her, but Sayid could not possibly be able explain how she could have gotten the button from his shirt.

That is if he had lost it on the boat as he had the day she was with him on it.

He was waiting patiently, but with his eyes set on reading her body language. She admitted, unable to argue. "Yes. I'd be curious. "

Sensing her uneasiness, he interrupted her. "Do not misinterpret my meaning. It is not my intention to interrogate you. Nevertheless, you must understand my curiosity. "

"I do." She sighed gratefully. "I wasn't being cryptic on the beach that night. The night I showed you the picture of Jack At least not intentionally. "

"Alright."

She shook her head, where would she start? She stared over the cliff out into the crystal foam and pictured the hatch deep within it, the two rooms divided by the glass partition and the last glance she had taken of Jack while she begged him not to listen to them to Ben. He sat slumped in the corner with his head down without any recognition of her or any response to her pleading. And then she began.

"I sit and stare out over the water because thats where I left Jack. He didn't even know me. I mean, who knows what they could be doing to him. Brainwashing him maybe. Kate and Sawyer ..."

"And you feel responsible? "

She shot a painful glance to him and blinked. "It's hard sometimes to know what I feel. "

It was the truth, except for how she felt about him. It was a flash in the pan response, once she realized the others were coming for the boat. The same scenario looping around itself. All she could think about was he and Jin out in the darkness, the gunfire and Sun going over the side. She so desperately wanted to do something.

She nodded and then continued. "I escaped from there because I knew you and the others were on that boat and I knew Bens people were coming after you. I knew what was gonna happen. That Sun was alone on board. So when Alex got me out, I had her take me to the sub and I hid in it."

"Alex?"

She fiddled with her thumbs,yeah Alex. "Alex is well, my sister. At least she's the closest thing I have. I was about 16 when I met her. It I. This is a lot to explain and I really dont know where to start."

She waited for his response, but he merely leaned into a stone, patiently listening to her grappling for words. Then he took a small breath. "How did you know? "

His relaxed tone was disquieting and the question slammed into her head as if a boulder had fallen from above and crushed her. How did she know? She swallowed a gulp of air and then met his gaze. He had no idea how complicated this simple question was.

She settled against the rock pile and flicked her eyes over him. He already knew how she was brought there as a small child and the sketchy recollection of her life before the island. And it was very sketchy.

She opened her mouth and this is where she began.

"Well first, you have to know I was on the plane. Flight 815. "

She had settled under the covers and was dozing when she heard the creak. She thought it was her imagination at first, but then she detected the footsteps and whispers. There were two of them standing over her. They never spoke a word, eerily ignoring her altogether as if she were an animal instead of a human being. One pinned her shoulders and clamped a rough hand over her mouth while the other shoved a needle in her leg. The liquid burned as it entered her body and before she could get into a good struggle, everything went black.

She awoke in a smaller room, lying on a cold damp earthen floor hoping for death but fearing something more terrifying. She glimpsed shadowy footsteps under the door and was relieved to see Alex there. She led Sarah from the room and to the ladder leading out and then across the green grass under the warm sun until they reached a secluded area. They met with a dark haired man whose name was Richard.

Richard and Sarah traveled to Australia by submarine. During the travel, shed spied him looking over a folder and managed to steal a glance over one of the pages. It was enough for her to see that the information contained in it was of interest to her at best. Paperwork on her history and past.

Richard had spoken to her gently while peering through soft brown eyes, and though part of her wanted to trust him, he was one of them. One could argue that Alex was as well, but she had known Alex since her childhood. Not so with Richard. So, she swiped the taser, used it on him and then took the folder.

She snagged an address from it. One that had been frequented by a man named Christian SheppardSarah was convinced this man was her father. The owner of the address was a blond woman who gawked at this strange girl planted in her front yard and then phoned the local police department. Sarahs appearance only accomplished her arrest and then a visit to a mental institution.

Jude retrieved her and then they boarded flight 815. She hadnt seen the folder after it was taken from her by the officers.

"I was well, we were near the front. " She said. "Jude went to the back somewhere, before the crash, so when I woke up I was the only one alive. That I saw. "

She remained hidden at first, but tried to stay close to the plane, hoping for rescue - only to be discovered by Ben and the others. He tried to coerce her to return willingly, but she resisted his pleas until he grew angry and then reached for the small dark pistol she had been eyeing on his belt. She flipped around and bolted, heard a pop and then a whiz. Everything went black.

She paused, unsure of which way to turn, for this is where the story came to a fork. One path led her through the time she had spent in the Swan with Sayid and Jack while the other began the moment she awoke from unconsciousness in the Hydra and discovered that she had dreamt the last two months of her life.

She was unaware of the weight of her stare out into open space, but Sayid was not. He studied her and then startled her out of deep thought. "So you were on the plane then that does not explain how you knew about the boat and how you've known other things. "

She raised her eyes to his, gazing into them and thought of another time when they were hard and angry. They were not so hard now and not angry either. Although, with him, trust was something earned and once earned, he would give it unfalteringly but if broken, one could not easily regain it. She breathed softly and answered.

"I know. But this is where it gets harder I know, Sayid, that you're a man who believes only in what he sees and with this, you only have my word. You're either gonna believe me or not. "
Return to Top

-- Edited by LionQueen at 19:40, 2007-08-07

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

I'm inly going to post the link to these now on Fanfic.net because I can't paste anything here w/o having to redo the punctiation. Chapter 44 : A Long Slip of Paper ... can be found here:)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3566905/44/The_Forgotten_Child

-- Edited by LionQueen at 08:56, 2007-08-10

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 46 - Journeyman is now up!

-- Edited by LionQueen at 12:17, 2007-09-04

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Tiny Black Button

Sarah and Sayid chat by the fire while Sarah frets over something lost.

-- Edited by LionQueen at 17:52, 2007-10-30

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

The Seventh Star

Smokie makes his usual bold entrance, interrupting the Losties and costing them time. Later, Sayid tells a bedtime story.

-- Edited by LionQueen at 17:55, 2007-10-30

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Alpha males

Locke and Sayid Lock horns in true alpha male style while Sarah strugles with the growing animosity between she and Danielle. Sarah and Sayid make a discovery.

-- Edited by LionQueen at 17:57, 2007-10-30

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Love

Who is this man that Sarah loves? Will Sayid figure it out or does he already know?

-- Edited by LionQueen at 17:58, 2007-10-30

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Would You Like to Save the World?

What happens when Sarah steps outside again? A bunch of craziness and she gets put in the corner. Can Sayid save the day?

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

77

Kate and Miss Clugh get down and dirty. Sayid gives Sarah a verbal slap. Locke plays with explosives and Mikhail is just, Mikhail. Then when you think that's all there is, Sarah hears something in her ear.

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 53 - Burning Bush

In this angsty but offhandedly sweet chapter, Sarah might have hit a little too close, and Mikhail gets his turn on the catwalk.

The Burning Bush

-- Edited by LionQueen at 20:15, 2008-02-17

KateisLost · Moonlight mod

it better be!

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Em ... it is now go read it already or you're gonna be behind again! I've already written the first three pages of the next one ... and it might make you cry

KateisLost · Moonlight mod

cry???? why cry????

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

It's not a tragic crying ... so to speak. But it could be kind of a little bit ... emotional.

KateisLost · Moonlight mod

hmmmm, sounds good! when will it be posted???

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Maybe tomorrow - hehe .... biggrin

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 54 - Suburbia

Something we didn't know about Sayid. Something we didn't know about the others. Fun Fun Fun ... not really biggrin

Suburbia

-- Edited by LionQueen at 20:15, 2008-02-17

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 55 - Dog of Doom

WHO can escape him?Shocking twists and turns and people dropping like flies! Oh My!!

Dog of Doom

-- Edited by LionQueen at 23:29, 2008-02-08

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 56 - The Man Behind the Gun

Sayid gets chained up. Sarah gets an appetite, nice and sudsy and all cozy with someone ...hmm .....

The Man Behind the Gun

-- Edited by LionQueen at 23:28, 2008-02-08

-- Edited by LionQueen at 23:35, 2008-02-08

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

KateisLost wrote:

Lion, Chapter 55: Dog of Doom was great! really intense and action packed!

Woohoo!!! biggrin aww aww aww

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 57: Bens House

Sayid and halo's, Juliet and sleeping gas. Sarah and Jack reunited - well, sort of. Sarah walks through the road of reality and finds it all overwhelming, she finds the pain in her knee kind of unbearable too.

Ben's House

-- Edited by LionQueen at 12:44, 2008-03-01

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 58 : Enantiomorph

Jack and Juliet, Sayid and Sarah ... mirror images? You be the judge. One huge chat session and a moment under the sky Sarah's been waiting for. wink

Enantiomorph

-- Edited by LionQueen at 20:13, 2008-02-17

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 59 - Affable

A strange parallel. Jack and Juliet, Sarah and Sayid, are they mirror images or polar opposites? Juliet gets a fine welcome to the beach and hold your breath cause this chapter holds one big punch!

Affable

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 60 - The Boy and the Mouse.

Jack finds something the bushes when he goes on a hunt for his baseball.
The story of the Boy and the Mouse by Jack Shephard is decoded. And just WHO is at the door???

The Boy and the Mouse

-- Edited by LionQueen at 12:44, 2008-03-01

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 61: September 24th

Jack and Sarah have a chat and in true Lost fashion there's answers ... and more questions.

September 24th

-- Edited by LionQueen at 12:36, 2008-03-10

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

The Breakfast Club

Claire does makeup, Sayid and Sarah bond over the World Atlas and we all wonder what the hell is up with the whispers and apparitions? Just remember, Here There Be Dragons!

The Breakfast Club

-- Edited by LionQueen at 18:34, 2008-04-26

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 63: Suns Garden

The HOLE story ....

Sun's Garden

LionQueen · It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Chapter 64 : Ana Behibak ...

Another whopper of a chapter. Will Sarah take the clues all around her and reveal what's truly in her heart before it's too late?

Ana Behibak...

-- Edited by LionQueen at 16:22, 2008-05-18