My friend just called to say her and her mom are stopping by to tell me something. It's bad. I don't know what it could possibly be and why they'd have to tell me in person.
my best friend swallowed some pills and tried to kill herself yesterday morning. (her sister, my other best friend came to tell me). she is literally the sweetest happiest person I know. I don't understand how this can happen. no one saw this coming. I can't believe this. I'm so worried for her. she says she has been depressed for years and just wanted the sadness to stop. this isn't real
I cried, "Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old, the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold." "If we cry now," she said, "it will just be ignored."
I cried, "Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old, the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold." "If we cry now," she said, "it will just be ignored."
sadness of this depth is a difficult thing for a person to go thru... there aare days when you justt want it to go away... as a friend, as someone who cares, the thing that needs to be done is to build the person up to believe in himself... let the person know the gifts he has and how you appreciate these gifts. encourage and help them to use the gifts.. the plusses .. the strengths that he/she has. it takes much time.... it can work
I'm sorry to hear that Innocent! It is a very difficult thing to go through. I know it's confusing and I know it's hard to know what to do. And it's scary to just not know what's happening or what's going to happen.
I'm sorry to hear that Innocent! It is a very difficult thing to go through. I know it's confusing and I know it's hard to know what to do. And it's scary to just not know what's happening or what's going to happen.
Is your friend in the hospital right now?
I'm just going to type it all. I need to have someone listen
this is just so hard. she's literally the last person anyone would expect to try and commit suicide. she is a devout Christian with a lot of friends, involved in a youth group, a triplet with a loving mother and two dachsunds and so joyful and friendly and just I can't explain it.
it happened yesterday morning. she (Joy) stayed home sick from school and took some pills. her sister Adele (who is taking college classes) came home late from visiting someone in the hospital. she found her crying but she wouldn't say why. shortly after she told her to call 911 because she had taken 40 pills. she said that she didn't want to kill herself, just that she wanted to end the sadness. I don't know what that means. apparantley she's been depressed for years and no one knew. they don't know what pills she took. maybe left overs from her knee surgery- we don't know. she said she's been stashing them for a while. I'm still trying to grasp this concept. when she calls me or when I visit her, what am I supposed to say? I love her so much but I don't know what she needs to hear. she's in the hospital right now, diagnosed with severe depression. I can't visit her because I'm not 18 yet. I can't believe this happened.
sorry for the long rambling but it feels good to have typed what happened
I cried, "Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old, the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold." "If we cry now," she said, "it will just be ignored."
I'm still trying to grasp this concept. when she calls me or when I visit her, what am I supposed to say? I love her so much but I don't know what she needs to hear. she's in the hospital right now, diagnosed with severe depression. I can't visit her because I'm not 18 yet. I can't believe this happened.
as in any traumatic situation, the best thing you can do is just be there. you may not have to say anything. just let her know you care and that she is important to you. later can come the building up of her... but first...just be there... you are a strong and lovely young lady with a big heart and a mass of smarts! when you are strong... others around you can be the same
I cried, "Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old, the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold." "If we cry now," she said, "it will just be ignored."
innocent... you know i am here for you! when you need me... i will always be willing to listen... to do what i can! you are that important to me! how have you and emma been? we've reallt missed you two!!
I'm sorry you can't visit her, Innocent! Like LL said, it's important that you are there for her and don't have to say anything. She just needs to know that you love her, don't think any less of her and that she should not feel embarrassed or ashamed.
innocent... you know i am here for you! when you need me... i will always be willing to listen... to do what i can! you are that important to me! how have you and emma been? we've reallt missed you two!!
can emma use the keyboard yet??
thanks we've missed you guys too, but life is hectic and keeps us offline. we've been great- her only health concern was a heart murmur. and she can type 190 wpm now.
Innocent I'm very sorry to hear this. It's a very hard thing to deal with, and I can say without a doubt that I know what you're going through. When I was in HS my girlfriend tried to kill herself. Her life at home wasn't as good as your friends sounds like it is, but she didn't have a bad life either. It was insane for me to try to grab on to anything about it. I came to terms with just being there for her, and letting her know that regardless of what made her feel this way that there were many many people ther for her. She still to this day takes meds for it, and in the few times I've seen her over the years I still get a smile from her because she knows if she needed a shoulder mine is still there. Support is the biggest thing.
I think I can see her on Friday. I can't wait that long my mom works nights at the hospital she's staying at so she's going to go spend some time with her tonight. we're all trying to show her everyone cares for her
Innocent, i'm so truly and deeply sorry and saddened to hear this. As someone who myself has had their best friend try and kill herself and has very seriously thought about it myself(to the point of actually planning, writing letters and getting things ready) i understand much more than i maybe would like to on this issue!! Love and support are the two most important things, there is no right thing to say... infact there is no answer to the question of 'what do i say or how do i act'! The most important thing is that she knows from you that you love her just as much as ever, and that no matter what, your there for her. The strength of character of your friendship is what you need to focus on All my love goes out her and her family in what nodoubt is a unbelieveably tough time
innocent... you know i am here for you! when you need me... i will always be willing to listen... to do what i can! you are that important to me! how have you and emma been? we've reallt missed you two!!
can emma use the keyboard yet??
thanks we've missed you guys too, but life is hectic and keeps us offline. we've been great- her only health concern was a heart murmur. and she can type 190 wpm now.
please excuse this long post, I need to write it all down. I just got off the phone with adele and so much is just going through my mind. I can't control it and I have this feeling of hopelessness and I feel guilty when I'm happy and when I cry. everytime I think "Joy tried to commit suicide", it still takes a moment to sink in. she is so lovable and loud and supportive. she's so sweet that she told her sister about how bad she feels for the other girls in the program she's in. I still haven't talked to her on the phone yet. Adele says she's supposed to call me but she hasn't. she keeps reminding me that I'm high on the list of people Joy wants to see/talk to but I'm beginning to wonder if that's just Adele trying to make me feel better and that Joy doesn't want to talk to me even though she's talked to other people. I just have this feeling of sinking down into a cold lake that's not going to get better until I see her and embrace her. her brother has gone to see her only once. his usual retorts to her when he's mad is that she's dumb, and she's said part of the reason she feels this way is because she feels dumb so he thinks that it's partly his fault and that she's mad at him. i'm sure he'll come around though. God intervened when Adele's friend was running late picking her up to go to the hospital that morning (I had it wrong above). she comes home saturday evening and is staying at the house of a church member she loves because she doesn't feel ready to go home yet. is it right for me to feel this depressed about what happened? I mean, Joy survived this and she has so much support and love. she changed her mind at the last minute and told Adele to call 911. she hasn't died, and isn't that what matters? I feel guilty when I show my sadness around others and when I start crying. sure it's a traumatic event but should I keep feeling like I'm mourning? maybe it'll go away when I finally get to see her. do I have a right to feel this sad?
You love your friend, and that is all the reason you need to feel sad, and want to be there. From my time dealing with this kind of stuff i know the feeling of sinking ect... It's not a good feeling, but it's part of what comes with being one of the people on the outside looking in. You want to do anything and everything you can to make it better, but you feel handcuffed from doing so. Stay strong and never stop telling yourself and anyone else who'll listen for that matter how much she means to you, and that when the time comes that you can embrace her you'll know that your time and feelings are in the right place. As for not hearing from her yet. Don't worry. It's a hard thing to be waiting, but from their side sometimes the friends they are closest to are the ones they have the hardest time talking to about this kind of event. They don't want to hurt those people, and so it may take a little more time for her to "Get up the nerve" to call. You're doing the best you can Innocent, and that's really all you can do.
What I do know, innocent, is that your feelings are yours. Nobody can tell you not to feel them. BUT, and this is gonna sound a little tough to grasp at first, but, it was your freinds decision to do what she did. Yes, she felt hopeless, and worthless maybe even, but noone made her do anything and so noone should feel responsible or blame him/herself ... not even you.
I cried, "Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old, the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold." "If we cry now," she said, "it will just be ignored."
that you cry... that you feel ... that you have a sense of responsibility says so much about your character and who you are... you arer a very caring and loving individual.... you are someone who wants to do for others... you are more than close to your friends, you will be beside them, behind them, leading them whenever they need you. do you have a right to cry? yes... becuz you care.... and that makes you strong. you almost LOST someone dear to you... a reminder of our own immortallity and that all things must pass. yet what we do with our life is what matters. you have done much and will do more. i can't think of a better person to have as a friend.
((((Innocent )))))) You are in pain because your friend is in pain. Yes she is alive, but she is sad so you are going to be sad as well. You are empathetic, don't feel guilty about that! I hope you get to see her soon and are able to give her a big hug!
I always feel inadequate, I can only go with what I know. We've probably all felt that way. It takes time and prayer to heal. Nothing anyone does can make you feel better. And with my kids, that's the hard part, watching anyone suffer and not being able to instantly help them. You can only wait, and be there. I'm not good with words. But, I'd rather say something than nothing at all.
Innocent all of us are with you..it is a very hard thing to try to understand...I hope you visited with your friend and just simply talked to her expressing your concern for her and showing her she is loved....The important part is to communicate.. Hope she is doing better and her family as well.. and truly hope that you are doing well..
we've missed you guys too, but life is hectic and keeps us offline. we've been great- her only health concern was a heart murmur. and she can type 190 wpm now. 
I'm glad Emma is doing well 
thanks
