LionQueen wrote:

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Sweet Mick/Edward dreams Kate

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goodnight Lion! sweet Sayid dreams!

KateisLost wrote:

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LionQueen wrote:

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KateisLost wrote:

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LionQueen wrote:

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KateisLost wrote:

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where'd everyone go???

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Awwwe ... I'm writing and looking at idol stuff.

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i understand Lion

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Look at you ... starting all the pages ...

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that's me, the sneaky, page-starting vampire

 

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LionQueen wrote:

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Is Australia the key to the game?

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Hi Lion!

poem:

I am what you fear most,

A creature of the night,

I come to you in darkness,

And flee at dawns first light.

Some call me a monster,

Others, an undead fiend,

But for you, my best beloved one,

Ill be whatever you want me to be.

My eyes glow like red fire,

But they burn only for you,

I crave not only your sweet, sweet blood,

But your tender love, too.

You are the light to my darkness,

Sunrise to my sunset,

My night became day,

The moment that we met.

Come to me my lovely one,

Let me kiss away your fears,

You are an angel straight from heaven,

And everything I hold dear.

hrslvr_paints wrote:

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Kate, your poem is very telling. I'd like more showing. You have these wide sweeping ideas but you need to ground them in a concrete image. Show me what he'll become if she only asks, show me how his night became day, how she's light and sunrise and all these ideas. It's definitely a good start. I'll warn you, poetry is a lot harder than fiction. (I should know.)

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KateisLost wrote:

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hrslvr_paints wrote:

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Kate, your poem is very telling. I'd like more showing. You have these wide sweeping ideas but you need to ground them in a concrete image. Show me what he'll become if she only asks, show me how his night became day, how she's light and sunrise and all these ideas. It's definitely a good start. I'll warn you, poetry is a lot harder than fiction. (I should know.)

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awww, i see what you mean there and it definitely was harder to write than fiction. i thought it was pretty good for my first poem though

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It is good.  I always feel bad when I'm reading over someone else's work and giving feedback because I have this tendency to be all negative.  (It's a failing, I know.)  Keep working at it and it will be a great poem.  That's all poems take is work.  Sometimes they take more work than anything else you'll ever write in your life.  (I know some of mine have and I've written lengthy papers that weren't as tough as the shortest poem I've written.)