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Post Info TOPIC: lady's nite out... ap21-24


Moonlight mod

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Posts: 17228
Date: Apr 24, 2008
RE: lady's nite out... ap21-24


hrslvr_paints wrote:

KateisLost wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:

Kate, your poem is very telling. I'd like more showing. You have these wide sweeping ideas but you need to ground them in a concrete image. Show me what he'll become if she only asks, show me how his night became day, how she's light and sunrise and all these ideas. It's definitely a good start. I'll warn you, poetry is a lot harder than fiction. (I should know.)



awww, i see what you mean theresmile and it definitely was harder to write than fiction. i thought it was pretty good for my first poem thoughsmile




It is good.  I always feel bad when I'm reading over someone else's work and giving feedback because I have this tendency to be all negative.  (It's a failing, I know.)  Keep working at it and it will be a great poem.  That's all poems take is work.  Sometimes they take more work than anything else you'll ever write in your life.  (I know some of mine have and I've written lengthy papers that weren't as tough as the shortest poem I've written.)



i think you are a very good critic, Paints. you tell it like it is and give good advice on how to impovesmile.gif

and thank you so much for your advice on my poemsmile



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Moonlight mod

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Date: Apr 24, 2008

hrslvr_paints wrote:

Lion went away.




i knowhmm.gif i hope she comes back soon!



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Only a vampire can love you forever.


Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

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Date: Apr 24, 2008

KateisLost wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:

KateisLost wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:

Kate, your poem is very telling. I'd like more showing. You have these wide sweeping ideas but you need to ground them in a concrete image. Show me what he'll become if she only asks, show me how his night became day, how she's light and sunrise and all these ideas. It's definitely a good start. I'll warn you, poetry is a lot harder than fiction. (I should know.)



awww, i see what you mean theresmile and it definitely was harder to write than fiction. i thought it was pretty good for my first poem thoughsmile




It is good.  I always feel bad when I'm reading over someone else's work and giving feedback because I have this tendency to be all negative.  (It's a failing, I know.)  Keep working at it and it will be a great poem.  That's all poems take is work.  Sometimes they take more work than anything else you'll ever write in your life.  (I know some of mine have and I've written lengthy papers that weren't as tough as the shortest poem I've written.)



i think you are a very good critic, Paints. you tell it like it is and give good advice on how to impovesmile.gif

and thank you so much for your advice on my poemsmile




I'm glad you don't think I'm being negative.  And you're welcome.  When you go to college, don't procrastinate your homework.  Always work on it over the course of time instead of trying to cram it all in at the last minute.

Can you believe it's been almost exactly a year since I graduated college?  Realizing that today was my feel old moment of the day.



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I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

Status: Offline
Posts: 4802
Date: Apr 24, 2008

Catch and Release

Waders in the shallow waters--

Green River fishing spot.

Brown, black, and red, and white wing the

Angler ties the small knot.

Royal Coachman, a favorite lure,

Settles on muddy glass

As the fisherman swishes rod

To and fro, and lines pass

Branches reflected in nature's

Mirror.  At last the thread

Ceases movement, waiting for bites.

Will the fishes behead

The tiny footman, a decoy

To lure the rainbow

Fish to the glossed water's surface?

Glass breaks, lines akimbo,

The rainbow pulls the trap into

The murky river's base.

Reels spin against the drag-down,

Saying, "Give up the chase."

The angler wins the fight at last,

Pulling in fleshy flesh.

Red and silver and gold rest in

Checkered web of green mesh.

The camera flashes.  See the catch?

Red and yellow are eased

From the rainbow's motoring mouth.

The angler is released

Into the heavens, never to

Cast line into water

Again.  The Father wants him as

Humanity's fisher.



-- Edited by hrslvr_paints at 23:52, 2008-04-24

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I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



Moonlight mod

Status: Offline
Posts: 17228
Date: Apr 24, 2008

hrslvr_paints wrote:

KateisLost wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:

KateisLost wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:

Kate, your poem is very telling. I'd like more showing. You have these wide sweeping ideas but you need to ground them in a concrete image. Show me what he'll become if she only asks, show me how his night became day, how she's light and sunrise and all these ideas. It's definitely a good start. I'll warn you, poetry is a lot harder than fiction. (I should know.)



awww, i see what you mean theresmile and it definitely was harder to write than fiction. i thought it was pretty good for my first poem thoughsmile




It is good.  I always feel bad when I'm reading over someone else's work and giving feedback because I have this tendency to be all negative.  (It's a failing, I know.)  Keep working at it and it will be a great poem.  That's all poems take is work.  Sometimes they take more work than anything else you'll ever write in your life.  (I know some of mine have and I've written lengthy papers that weren't as tough as the shortest poem I've written.)



i think you are a very good critic, Paints. you tell it like it is and give good advice on how to impovesmile.gif

and thank you so much for your advice on my poemsmile




I'm glad you don't think I'm being negative.  And you're welcome.  When you go to college, don't procrastinate your homework.  Always work on it over the course of time instead of trying to cram it all in at the last minute.

Can you believe it's been almost exactly a year since I graduated college?  Realizing that today was my feel old moment of the day.



a year since you graduated? wow!

i can't believe i only have one more year of high school left! where has the time gone???



__________________
 

Only a vampire can love you forever.


I cried, "Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old, the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold." "If we cry now," she said, "it will just be ignored."

Status: Offline
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Date: Apr 24, 2008

Can you believe it's been almost exactly a year since I graduated college?  Realizing that today was my feel old moment of the day.
__________________________________________________________

feels good tho doesn't it... that you have that much work behind you and that much accomplished in life!!


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ladymod


Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

Status: Offline
Posts: 4802
Date: Apr 24, 2008

a year since you graduated? wow!

i can't believe i only have one more year of high school left! where has the time gone???




No idea.  Have you thought about where you're going for college?  (Now I sound like a mother, I know.)



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I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

Status: Offline
Posts: 4802
Date: Apr 24, 2008

lockesladyness wrote:

Can you believe it's been almost exactly a year since I graduated college?  Realizing that today was my feel old moment of the day.
__________________________________________________________

feels good tho doesn't it... that you have that much work behind you and that much accomplished in life!!




I guess.  It just makes me feel old at the same time.  I'm only 23.  I should not be feeling old.



__________________




I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



Moonlight mod

Status: Offline
Posts: 17228
Date: Apr 24, 2008

hrslvr_paints wrote:

a year since you graduated? wow!

i can't believe i only have one more year of high school left! where has the time gone???




No idea.  Have you thought about where you're going for college?  (Now I sound like a mother, I know.)



i don't have a clue where i want to go to college at. i would really like to do classes online if i couldsmile



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Only a vampire can love you forever.


Moonlight mod

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Posts: 17228
Date: Apr 24, 2008

Lion is back! and LL is here tooheart.gif

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Only a vampire can love you forever.


Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

Status: Offline
Posts: 4802
Date: Apr 24, 2008

KateisLost wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:

a year since you graduated? wow!

i can't believe i only have one more year of high school left! where has the time gone???




No idea.  Have you thought about where you're going for college?  (Now I sound like a mother, I know.)



i don't have a clue where i want to go to college at. i would really like to do classes online if i couldsmile




But then you miss the whole college experience.  As unpleasant as most of my roommate experiences have been I wouldn't trade my college years for anything.  My high school years on the other hand...



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I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

Status: Offline
Posts: 4802
Date: Apr 24, 2008

KateisLost wrote:

Lion is back! and LL is here tooheart.gif




I saw LL.  Where's Lion?



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I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



Moonlight mod

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Posts: 17228
Date: Apr 24, 2008

nice poem Paints! you are so good at writing them!

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Only a vampire can love you forever.


It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

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Posts: 16543
Date: Apr 24, 2008

lockesladyness wrote:

 


 

LionQueen wrote:

Is Australia the key to the game?

i will ask dan next time i talk to him.

 


 



I think you completely missed the point. Hurley said ... "Australia is the key to the whole game." Last I checked, Dan is from New Zealand?

 



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It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

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Date: Apr 24, 2008

hrslvr_paints wrote:

Lion went away.



I'm back:) I was watching the show.

 



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Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

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Date: Apr 24, 2008

LionQueen wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:

Lion went away.



I'm back:) I was watching the show.




Gotcha.  I will confess, the teaser for tonight's episode has me so close to being sucked back into the show.



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I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



Moonlight mod

Status: Offline
Posts: 17228
Date: Apr 24, 2008

hrslvr_paints wrote:

KateisLost wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:

a year since you graduated? wow!

i can't believe i only have one more year of high school left! where has the time gone???




No idea.  Have you thought about where you're going for college?  (Now I sound like a mother, I know.)



i don't have a clue where i want to go to college at. i would really like to do classes online if i couldsmile




But then you miss the whole college experience.  As unpleasant as most of my roommate experiences have been I wouldn't trade my college years for anything.  My high school years on the other hand...



i already have roommates, and it's bad enough that have to live with them, even though it is my brother and his GF. i don't want to have to live with other people that i don't know at all.



__________________
 

Only a vampire can love you forever.


I cried, "Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old, the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold." "If we cry now," she said, "it will just be ignored."

Status: Offline
Posts: 17239
Date: Apr 24, 2008

LionQueen wrote:

 

lockesladyness wrote:

 


 

LionQueen wrote:

Is Australia the key to the game?

i will ask dan next time i talk to him.

 


 



I think you completely missed the point. Hurley said ... "Australia is the key to the whole game." Last I checked, Dan is from New Zealand?

 

 




 and living in toowoomba australia.... doh!



__________________

ladymod


Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

Status: Offline
Posts: 4802
Date: Apr 24, 2008

KateisLost wrote:

nice poem Paints! you are so good at writing them!




Thanks.  That was probably the hardest one I've written.  My poetry professor pretty much ripped it to shreds, screwing up the lines and the rhyming, but I haven't had time to revise it in any way since I first wrote it.  It's going in my portfolio that is due tomorrow, which makes up the bulk of my grade in the class.



__________________




I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



I cried, "Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old, the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold." "If we cry now," she said, "it will just be ignored."

Status: Offline
Posts: 17239
Date: Apr 24, 2008

hrslvr_paints wrote:

 

lockesladyness wrote:

Can you believe it's been almost exactly a year since I graduated college? Realizing that today was my feel old moment of the day.
__________________________________________________________

feels good tho doesn't it... that you have that much work behind you and that much accomplished in life!!




I guess. It just makes me feel old at the same time. I'm only 23. I should not be feeling old.

 



i am still waiting to feel old... i think i may be coming to terms with my 40s... still not my age thoaww

 



__________________

ladymod


Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

Status: Offline
Posts: 4802
Date: Apr 24, 2008

KateisLost wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:

KateisLost wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:

a year since you graduated? wow!

i can't believe i only have one more year of high school left! where has the time gone???




No idea.  Have you thought about where you're going for college?  (Now I sound like a mother, I know.)



i don't have a clue where i want to go to college at. i would really like to do classes online if i couldsmile




But then you miss the whole college experience.  As unpleasant as most of my roommate experiences have been I wouldn't trade my college years for anything.  My high school years on the other hand...



i already have roommates, and it's bad enough that have to live with them, even though it is my brother and his GF. i don't want to have to live with other people that i don't know at all.




Sometimes though that's just what you have to do and it's part of life and growing up.  Sometimes it works out really well and other times it doesn't work out so well.  My best friend right now is my roommate.  Roommate roulette with five bullets in a six-barrel revolver is a game most college students have to play.  You always pray that you'll get that empty barrel.



__________________




I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

Status: Offline
Posts: 4802
Date: Apr 24, 2008

lockesladyness wrote:

hrslvr_paints wrote:


lockesladyness wrote:

Can you believe it's been almost exactly a year since I graduated college? Realizing that today was my feel old moment of the day.
__________________________________________________________

feels good tho doesn't it... that you have that much work behind you and that much accomplished in life!!




I guess. It just makes me feel old at the same time. I'm only 23. I should not be feeling old.




i am still waiting to feel old... i think i may be coming to terms with my 40s... still not my age thoaww



rofl.gif



__________________




I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



I cried, "Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old, the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold." "If we cry now," she said, "it will just be ignored."

Status: Offline
Posts: 17239
Date: Apr 24, 2008

the city was giving away free crab apple trees today... i got 2 of them!!

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ladymod


Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

Status: Offline
Posts: 4802
Date: Apr 24, 2008

lockesladyness wrote:

the city was giving away free crab apple trees today... i got 2 of them!!




That's cool.  Boy is this going to be a long night.



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I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



Love is patient, love is kind, love is slowly going out of your mind.

Status: Offline
Posts: 4802
Date: Apr 24, 2008

I need to get off the computer for a while. I'll be back later.

__________________




I feel like I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.


Princess Moderator



It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Status: Offline
Posts: 16543
Date: Apr 24, 2008

lockesladyness wrote:

 

LionQueen wrote:

 

lockesladyness wrote:

 


 

LionQueen wrote:

Is Australia the key to the game?

i will ask dan next time i talk to him.

 


 



I think you completely missed the point. Hurley said ... "Australia is the key to the whole game." Last I checked, Dan is from New Zealand?

 

 




and living in toowoomba australia.... doh!

 




 Did you mean duh?confused



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Moonlight mod

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Posts: 17228
Date: Apr 24, 2008

lockesladyness wrote:

the city was giving away free crab apple trees today... i got 2 of them!!



my grandma has one of thosesmile it was in full bloom when i was house-sitting and it smelled wonderfulaww



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Only a vampire can love you forever.


Moonlight mod

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Posts: 17228
Date: Apr 24, 2008

bye Paints, nice seeing ya!smile.gif

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Only a vampire can love you forever.


It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

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Posts: 16543
Date: Apr 24, 2008

hrslvr_paints wrote:

I need to get off the computer for a while. I'll be back later.



Laterbye.gif

 



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excited.gif


It Doesn't Matter Who We Were Before ...

Status: Offline
Posts: 16543
Date: Apr 24, 2008

KateisLost wrote:

 

lockesladyness wrote:

the city was giving away free crab apple trees today... i got 2 of them!!



my grandma has one of thosesmile it was in full bloom when i was house-sitting and it smelled wonderfulaww

 



One of the pitfalls of not being able to smellcry

 



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